They see me curling, they hatin’

Last weekend my friend Cody was kind enough to invite me to try Curling. He is a seasoned pro having played for several years in Wyoming (up near Canada) and plays in a four person league (the only Curling in Fort Collins) where his team were short a player. So, following our American tradition of say yes to new exciting things, I got involved.

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Our Curling team from left to right: Me, Rachel, John and Cody. I was subbing for Cody’s wife Mollie who was busy saving lives at a hospital.

I really cannot state enough how much fun it is trying something new and different for the first time. As funny as it was when I first played volleyball and accidentally started practicing with a basketball (which is much bigger and heavier), I adored it despite the abuse and ridicule.

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Needless to say I fell over once (and almost another two times), and missed my first few throws, but by the end of the match got to the point where most of my stones (the 40 pound slab of granite you try to curl) made it to the house (the 12 ft red ring that we aim for). Here I am pretending I know anything at all about curling from 10 minutes on google / youtube learning how to curl:

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I sadly have no pictures, but Cat laughed rather rudely at me practicing the night before with a sweeping brush and a backpack to see if I could get in the correct positions.

Oh yeah, did I mention it’s really difficult? You do a 1 legged squat on fairly slippy ice, shoot yourself off in vaguely the right direction and try to make the stone go 138 ft down some ice and stop (or takeout another stone) at exactly the right spot. Here is what you are supposed to look like (notice the snazzy pajamas):

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Here I am just after releasing the stone. I give myself a A for effort, C for grace and E for flexibility.

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You are probably thinking to yourself, wow Rob looks pretty silly, why is his arm straight at his side like he thinks aerodynamics matter, and why has he only gone about 5 ft down the ice? Trust me, it’s surprisingly hard to balance, throw correctly and not stick your tongue out while concentrating.

Fortunately, we won 7-4 thanks to some chess-level tactics of our skip (Cody) and if they are ever one short again the team said they would be happy to have me back. Much like Bruce Wayne, I am not the sub they need, but I am the one they deserve.

Rob